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Introducing Slughurf or What You Get When Your Toy Animals Get Frisky With Each Other June 26, 2009

Posted by life2d in humour, Uncategorized.
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I have three toys. Well, I actually have more like 29073, but for these particular three I don’t have to pretend that they were acquired with the children in mind. So, anyway, I have three toys I keep in a Christmas gift bag in my closet. First there is The Frog:

'How YOU doing?!'

'How YOU doing?!'

The girls have bought this for me at some point, knowing I like frogs and thinking a big headed flirty frog was just what I needed.

'SAY WHAT?!!!'

'SAY WHAT?!!!'

Oh, you weren’t trying to hit on me? So sorry, must’ve missread the ‘come hither’ look in your eyes and wiggly eyebrows…

Then, there is The Giraffe:

'Aren't I just the cuddliest?!'

'Aren't I just the cuddliest?!'

He joined us one summer from the San Diego Zoo. Saw him in the gift shop and HAD to have him; so I bought him. What? Haven’t YOU ever walked away with a $12 souvenir? Anyway, moving on…

Then came The Snail, a stocking stuffer from Santa:

'Help, I'm falling!'

'Help, I'm falling!'

It is a Playmobil 1-2-3 toddler toy that comes with a little baby to sit and rock on him. It is also a rattle. He’s very cute and I wish they had all these 1-2-3 toys when my kids were little. They were just coming out with them back then and all we had were two people, a girl and a boy, that my daughter would take with her everywhere. I wonder what happened to those? I must look for them…

Uh, right. Back to the original story. So, these are my three toys. The toys that were spending a little too much time together in a bag. In the closet. Most of the time in the dark.

I’ve never seen my daughter’s eyes quite so big and the look of disbelief on her face when we showed her this:

'Hi there!'

'Hi there!'

 She was just mouthing ‘How?’ over and over, shaking her head in amazement, while having difficulty breathing from laughing so hard. ‘What IS that????’ was the first thing that came out of her mouth once she had recovered her power of speech. Good question! It has the shape of The Snail, but it has The Frog’s eyes and also the texture and coloring of The Giraffe. So, what is it? Apparently it’s a Slughurf. They are a rare species, but they are out there. If you want to prevent having to deal with a Slughurf infestation, I recommend not keeping your frogs, giraffe and snail toys cooped up in a bag in the closet all winter long. Freaky things could happen.

'HUH???'

'HUH???'

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